This week’s episode is a big one for me. It’s the first time The Mujeres of Milestones has had a guest, and I couldn’t imagine anyone else in that seat but my friend Cristina.
Cristina and I have been friends for over 15 years. We met as sorority sisters, and years ago we actually talked about starting a podcast together. We never ended up moving forward with it, but our friendship only grew. She’s now a wife, a career woman, a mom of two (a seven-year-old daughter and a three-month-old son, who is in the episode too, so yes, those background noises are real), and she runs a hobby ranch. So when I finally took the leap and started this podcast on my own, there was no question she had to be my first guest.
I don’t have kids yet. But Cristina has always been the friend who gives me the real version. Not the “baby born at 8 lbs, everyone’s perfect” post. The phone call version. This episode is that phone call.
A quick note: Cristina is sharing her personal experience. Every pregnancy is different, and nothing here is medical or financial advice. Please talk to your own doctor and benefits team about your situation.
“They loved me, but they never told me”
One of the first things Cristina said stuck with me. The women in her family loved her and were so happy for her. But no one sat her down and told her what she was actually about to go through.
“There are beautiful parts... but there’s some parts that are really hard, and I wish someone would have mentally prepared me for it.”
That’s so common in our communities. We celebrate the baby, and we skip over the mom.
You’re never 100% ready
Cristina and her husband knew they wanted kids before they even got married. Her doctor told her it could take up to a year to get pregnant. It took one month. Their first reaction? “Are we ready?” No. “Well, we’re here now.”
Her advice to anyone waiting to feel completely ready: every pregnancy is different, every kid is different, and you’re in a different season of life each time. You will never be 100% ready, and that’s okay.
Who you have a baby with matters
Both of Cristina’s pregnancies came with complications, including preeclampsia the first time. Her first delivery was hard, and her recovery was even harder. She lost a lot of blood, and walking from her bed to the bathroom wore her out.
Her husband held her hand through all of it, and he was there for almost every appointment. Later, when she found herself in a really dark place after her first baby, he noticed. He started coming home from work and making sure she got out of the house at least twice a week, even if it was just to the grocery store.
“It sounds small, right? But it was such a big thing for me.”
Cristina’s biggest lesson: who you have a kid with really matters. Having a partner who cares about your wellbeing, physically and mentally, changes everything.
She also named something I think a lot of us feel, especially as eldest daughters and first-gen Latinas. We’re used to being the ones who take care of everyone. Being the one who needs care can feel unbearable. Her lesson was to slow down, because taking care of her body was taking care of her baby.
Postpartum is messy (and that’s normal)
Nobody romanticizes the recovery. Cristina talked about wearing adult diapers, sitting on a donut pillow for a month, and still looking pregnant after giving birth because your body has been through so much.
“Be patient with your body.”
She also talked about her village: the people you can rely on, who you’re comfortable around, and who don’t care how you look or smell because you haven’t showered. Figure out who your village is before the baby comes. And when they offer to fold the laundry? Let them.
The hospital bag: what she actually used
Cristina overpacked the first time and used almost none of it. The second time, she went into an appointment and got sent straight to the hospital with nothing packed. So she made a list of the essentials only:
1–2 outfits for you and for baby (for those going-home photos)
A blanket for baby (you don’t get to keep the hospital one anymore)
Chapstick (you get so dehydrated)
Your own toiletries
Snacks (they feed you, but you’ll be starving in between)
Hair ties, or better yet, braid your hair beforehand
Phone + charger
That’s it. The hospital provides diapers, wipes, pads, spray, and more, and you’re paying for it through your insurance. Take it home.
Let’s talk money: the $100K hospital bill
This is the part that surprised me the most. Cristina’s first hospital bill was a little over $100,000. She had a week-long stay with extra tests because of complications. Her daughter was born in January, before they’d met their deductible, so they owed about $20,000 out of pocket. They paid it off on a payment plan of about $800 a month.
The second time, they prepared. Here’s what she did (again, not an expert, just her experience):
She researched her health plan options during open enrollment, and for her family a PPO with an HSA (Health Savings Account) was the best fit.
She maxed out her HSA so they’d have a pot of money set aside for medical bills.
She compared both partners’ plans to see which covered their family best.
She planned ahead for dental and vision for the baby.
Good to know: you typically have 30 days after birth to add your baby to your plan.
And for baby gear? Buy the bare minimum, then figure out what you need. Wait for the baby shower. Talk to moms you trust. Cristina’s list of things she didn’t need: the wipe warmer, the diaper pail, and the 500 brands of bottles (her daughter only used one).
Her biggest advice: educate yourself
When I asked what she’d tell future moms, Cristina said: educate yourself about everything, without stressing yourself out. Know what questions to ask in the labor room, and make sure your partner can advocate for you when you can’t. Don’t go in with a rigid birth plan, because nothing in life goes perfectly. Talk to people who’ve been there and ask them what they wish they’d known.
And after sharing all the messy parts, she ended with this:
“I don’t regret anything... the moment that kid is out and you see them, nothing matters.”
It’s her milestone. And it was an honor to hear her tell it.
Listen to the full episode on YouTube, Spotify, or Apple Podcasts.
Now I want to hear from you. If you’re a mom, what’s the one thing you wish someone had told you before your first baby? If you’re not there yet, what’s your biggest question? Leave it in the comments. Your story might be exactly what another mujer needs to read today.
And if this was helpful, subscribe so you don’t miss next week’s episode, and send it to a friend who’s expecting.
Un abrazo, Brenda Diaz, MSW The Mujeres of Milestones